Over the past 24 hours we decided to tell most of our family and friends the news by email or letter. Here is the message we are sending. It has been edited slightly since we originally wrote it.
Dear family and friends,
As you probably know, we are expecting a baby in June. This is something we have prayed for and God has answered our prayer. We found out last week we were having a boy, in the same conversation we found out that he has Down Syndrome. This was confirmed when I saw the high risk doctor this week.
We believe that God has chosen us to be his parents, and Addison and Anna Kate to be his big sisters. We still consider this pregnancy a joyous occasion, and is the answer to our prayer. We believe God has chosen our children specifically to bless our family. He knew our son would have Down Syndrome and he knew it would affect us, individually and as a family. Ps 127:3 says, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.” He does not say only healthy children or genius children. All children are a reward from Him and we thank Him constantly for each of ours, including the one not yet born. 1 Sam 1:27 says “For this child I have prayed…” and this has not changed.
In reality, we do not know what tomorrow holds, what this summer holds, what life will be like with our son who has an extra chromosome, but we do know for certain that we will love him no matter what when he arrives, as we love our two daughters. We already love him.
We ask that you try as hard as possible not to feel sorry for us. We truly believe this is God’s plan, He knew this and chose us. If Eddie is up all night with a colicky baby (while Angie sleeps) or one of our children has a stomach virus and throws up on us, then feel free to feel sorry for us, as we would for you in the same situation. If we are up with him at LeBonheur because he needs heart surgery, feel free to feel sorry for us. We ask that you try not to feel guilty if all of your children have no medical problems, again we feel God has chosen your children for you and our family for us.
Certainly we have mourned for the child who will not have the life we envisioned for him. Certainly we are human, and will likely mourn again and have many different emotions through all of this. But please right now rejoice with us for the many things we are thankful for about this.
We thankfully are friends with our doctor. I went to medical school with her, she is a former coworker. She had the hard job of telling me this news. I later texted her to let her know I was doing ok. She wrote this response: “I love you and am praying for you. I cried this morning when Pat showed me the result. Then I had a sense of peace picturing the adorable BOY surrounded by you, Eddie, and your girls. I will do whatever you to support you through this!” We are thankful we live in a city with excellent medical facilities, specialists, instead of overseas or in a small town. We are thankful that unless the delivery plan changes, we live less than 10 minutes from the hospital we will deliver at, as there is a strong likelihood he will have to stay in the hospital after I go home, and will likely be in the NICU.
We are thankful that we are financially stable. Eddie makes us budget, and we live below our means. We are thankful for our vast support system of family and friends who all love us. We are thankful we have family in town that already help us tremendously with our children and will continue to do so. We are thankful for two special daughters who do not see this any differently. They know that they are having a baby brother (well, Anna Kate still calls him a girl! So she will be a little shocked when he arrives) and they are very excited. We are thankful that God has placed in a large church where there are lots of resources for special needs children. We are thankful for how God will use this in our lives. I have the difficult job of occasionally telling patients that their ultrasound shows their baby has a problem or that a test is abnormal. Now I can better emphasize with them.
We are thankful that we live in a great school district that has the ability to help us educate our son. We happen to be districted for the only elementary school in our district with an inclusive special needs preschool beginning at age 3. We are thankful that we found out so early, so that we can plan and be as well prepared as possible. Many families don’t find out until after birth. We are thankful that he has a common, well known, well studied syndrome that many doctors have expertise in so that he will be well taken care of. We are so very thankful he does not have a diagnosis of certain death during infancy or in the womb, as some syndromes do. Over 75% of prenatal diagnoses of Down Syndrome end in termination of pregnancy. We are SO thankful he has been chosen to be a member of our family, where this will not happen.
We also ask that you pray with us as we go through this journey. Here are some specific requests. 50% of children with Down Syndrome have a heart defect, we pray that he doesn’t have one or if he does, it is detected and repairable. This is our greatest concern. We pray that he doesn’t have serious vision or hearing problems. We pray that he doesn’t have serious kidney problems. We pray that the pregnancy goes smoothly, that he is not born too early. We pray that his newborn period is smooth, without serious breathing, eating or growth problems. We pray for the wisdom of the doctors and staff caring for us. Finally, we pray for wisdom in parenting, choosing specialists, treatments, education plans, etc. for him.
We ask that if this moves you at all, please examine your own life during this holiday season. If there is a relationship that needs to be mended, try to mend it. If there is sin in your life, break free of it. If you need to reset your priorities, change them. If you do not have a relationship with Christ, we urge you to receive Him today. He is what is carrying us through this. We are certainly examining our own lives and attempting to make changes for the good.
We are open to any questions. We realize that we are asking for a lot of prayer, which may be selfish, but realize that first and foremost our list of things we are thankful for is long, and will get longer as the days go on. We know God gives us strength. Ps. 121:1-2 says, “I lift my eyes up to the Lord, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and earth.”
Love,
Eddie, Angie, Addison, Anna Kate, and Baby Boy Childers
No comments:
Post a Comment